Let's Talk Family Enterprise Podcast: Parenting Adult Children in Family Business

Let's Talk Family Enterprise Podcast Episode 71: Parenting Adult Children in Family Business

Aileen Miziolek hosts an in-depth conversation with Alyson Schafer, an acclaimed author and Adlerian family counsellor. In this thoughtful 30-minute episode, they touch on issues around over- and under-functioning children, why the notion of fair vs. equal in childhood can impact long-term family business dynamics, and how tackling the unique challenges of enterprising families requires maturity, open-mindedness and an understanding that sometimes personal responsibility is the only path forward.

Guest bio

Alyson Schafer is one of Canada’s leading parenting experts. She promotes a firm but friendly “democratic parenting” style and offers practical solutions backed by extensive evidence-based research. Alyson is an Adlerian family counsellor, author, and internationally acclaimed expert who empowers families by sharing her principles, rules, and tools for raising co-operative and resilient kids.

You can learn more about Alyson Schafer on her website and Linked In.

Key Takeaways

[0:26] Aileen Miziolek welcomes Alyson Schafer and asks her to share about her experience with family business dynamics.

[3:01] Understanding the notion of fair vs. equal is a large part of how a family orients itself. Alyson explains how the abundance and scarcity models may influence how this manifests.

[6:48] While intergenerational patterns are real, there is always hope for change when there is maturity and open-mindedness.

[10:36] Family businesses do not have the freedom of relative anonymity in the workplace: family tensions can easily translate into business tensions.

[12:52] Personal responsibility is required for change. Alyson offers a dance metaphor to illustrate that the “other” doesn’t always need to start the process.

[15:15] Children differentiate to stop competition. Alyson warns against bean-counting to prevent under-functioning.

[20:46] Alyson shares tips to manage over- and under-functioning in any given system.

[23:34] Co-leading siblings is possible, but will require strong buy-in, well-defined roles and responsibilities, and generational support.

[26:15] Solving problems at the parent level is usually the fastest way to power change.

[27:29] North America is singular in its propensity to cut off family members!

[29:43] Links to Alyson Schafer’s contact, podcast, and books can be found in the links below.

[31:11] Aileen thanks Alyson Schafer for sharing so much of her knowledge, and closes this episode by reminding listeners to rate and subscribe.

Mentioned in this episode

Alyson Schafer’s Podcast: Parenting The Adlerian Way

Ain't Misbehavin’: Tactics for Tantrums, Meltdowns, Bedtime Blues and Other Perfectly Normal Kid Behaviors, by Alyson Schafer

Honey, I Wrecked the Kids: When Yelling, Screaming, Threats, Bribes, Time-outs, Sticker Charts and Removing Privileges All Don’t Work, by Alyson Schafer

Breaking The Good Mom Myth, by Alyson Schafer